Self image

In the last couple of years I’ve been changing my opinion about myself. It’s worsening.

Today I noticed something at work that seemed weird to me, but at the same time a good practice. Let me explain. I have a colleague that has a bad temper and usually say things without pondering and under strong emotion. I’ve seen him having quarrels with people at worseveral times, and this morning I’ve watched him in lively and relaxed talk with two workmates with whom he had problems before.

Some might be thinking “What’s wrong with that?”. And that’s when we come back to me. If I were one of them and have heard what they’ve heard I’d never manage to have a good relationship with the guy again. It’s very difficult for me to abandon resentment.

I felt really bad about myself and my inner feelings. I’d like to be a better person, but it’s very difficult.

Brief report of childhood – part 1

I was born 40 years ago in a low-middle-class family from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We were not rich, but we could afford the basics. My father used to work as a salesman for a cigarrette industry and my mother was a teacher at public schools. I was the only child until my 7 and a half years when my little brother was born.

My childhood was very different from my cousin’s and shcool pals’ cause I diidn’t enjoy being with kids of my age. I preferred to be with adults and not being like them, I mean able to do what they did, was something that tormented me.

As the first son, the first grandson and the first great-grandson, I was praised many times, my self-confidence was estimulated for years and that helped me a lot is demonstrating how a gifted child I was. There was a habit that my mother used to ask me, when I was about 2 years old, to show who was the king of the house and I was trained to show my own picture hanging on the wall.

To be continued.

From scratch

It took me a long time to get enough courage to start this blog. I used to think that it would be stupid to write about my inner feelings, my weaknesses. But after several failures in finding a good therapist (or one that amuses me) I decided to give it a try.

I plan to begin making a brief report about my current familiar and professional situation in order to allow the readers to understand the context. And then I’ll try to throw up all my anxieties, anger and disappointment with life and the world itself.

I hope to receive many comments and I believe that the exchange of ideas and experiences will be useful for everyone that get involved.

That’s all for now.

See you.